An Illuminating Tale of Relationships

for Carly, who plays here the part of the check

I made fifteen dollars on this night’s work. I guess that means I can start calling myself a professional writer. “Ho, Nastia,” I will boom. “Now I am the big writer! Now am I paid well for my words and atrocities!”

Nastia will screech and rattle the bars of her cage. “You fraud! You philanderer! You spiller of seed!” She is a foul-mouthed creature, who bears me no love. “You are no writer! You are no dreamer of dreams!”

I will laugh loudly. Oh! How I will laugh. “What do you know, Nastia, you are a small and dirty monster! This cage is all you know. What are you to say these things to me?”

This will drive her into a rage. If there is one thing Nastia cannot abide, it is to not be taken seriously. But I will scorn her wanton ways and make gruesome faces at her anger. “Ho, ho, Nastia! Angry Nastia! Powerless Nastia!”

When she exhausts her vitriol, I will wave the blue and white check just out of her reach. “Here are my big moneys! Here is my proof-pudding! This is the price a big writer demands!” Oh! I will be cruel!