Half-Fond Character Assassination

Steve is learning guitar and he’s teaching himself to play the entirety of Counting Crow’s August and Everything After. This hasn’t endeared him to anyone, but he’s so enthusiastic about it that it’s hard to be mad at the kid. Why that album? Why fixate on an album that was, to put it lightly, already incredibly hokey when his parents were in college? Steve shrugs and moansings Anna begins to cha~a~ange for the seventeenth time today.

Steve’s going through some things.

He took Spanish last year, and spent the entire time insisting that everyone call him Enrique Reproductividad, under the mistaken idea that it means Sexy Henry, not Reproducibility Henry. First they laughed, then then sighed, then they tried to correct him, then they just gave up and called him Enrique Reproductividad, why not, life is short and this is all we’ve got. Reproductividad! Steve hollered, cheerfully, whenever he entered a room.

That’s Steve, people say. That’s just what he’s like.