Stacey Cunningham is making out with a zombie one night and lets it get to second base, and the next morning wakes up to find she has become… BIG TIT ZOMBIE!

“I don’t understand,” she tells Dr. Irene Nadler, her improbably-named therapist/literary theorist. “Is it a metaphor for teenage sexuality, or what?”

“Could be body horror,” suggests the good Doctor. “Fear of cancer, maybe? There aren’t a lot of movies about the terror of breast cancer. The increasing uncontrollability of the zombie condition mirrors cancer in a lot of ways.”

“Maybe it’s about body modification?”

“Oh, you’re thinking the zombification represents some kind of disapproval of breast augmentation? You are being punished for deceiving men?”

“Which is of course about the commodification of women’s bodies…”

“…which is always about the fear of female sexuality, yes, of course.”

They ponder this.

“Braaaaaaaains,” grumble her tits, a little muffled by the tight angora sweater.

“Seems a little over-meaningful,” Stacey says.

“Mmm. Well, you know, it’s zombies.”

“Argh, I know. So overdone!”

“Braaaaaaaaaaaains,” moan her tits, almost plaintively.