Sara Plagued-by-Demons

Now, there was once a woman named Sara who was the daughter of Raguel and she married seven brothers, one after the other, and all of them died, killed by the demon Asmodeus, which as you can imagine was hard on any number of people, Sara included. So maybe you could understand why she might have been a little snippy with her maid.

“Oh, hell with you,” said her maid. “Don’t go taking out your rotten luck on me. You got all seven guys dead, it ain’t any of my concern. Why don’t you just drop dead with them? We’d all be better off, you vicious harpy.”

Off in a huff went Sara, Raguel’s daughter, all set to hang herself — she had the rope and everything! — but just then her father called for her and, being a dutiful daughter, she put off hanging herself for an hour at least.

“Daughter,” said Raguel, “this is your cousin Tobias. I’ve just signed a contract, so you two are married now.”

“Oh, wow,” Sara said.

“Hey,” said Tobias.

So they hied off to the bridal suite and he rubbed some fish liver and heart on her and, well, long story short, Asmodeus didn’t kill him. So it all worked out, I suppose, although it does seem like kind of a weird moral to the story, doesn’t it?