Day 40

Goliath pounds his javelin against the ground and calls the entire Israeli army a bunch of pedophiles, cowards hiding behind the skirts of their prepubescent lovers. The soldiers glower and grumble but David’s all cool aplomb.

“Seriously?” Goliath chortles. “This squirt? You Jewish punks don’t have anybody else man enough to face me? You don’t even come up to my cock, kid. Now I’m just embarrassed for you.”

“Don’t need anybody older,” drawls David, juggling a handful of rocks nonchalantly. “Reckon I’m tall enough to do for a discarded piece of foreskin like you.”

The Israelis roar their approval. Goliath spits, “I’m going to enjoy fucking your daddy’s corpse.”

“Talk talk,” says David. His rock takes the giant right between the eyes. There’s a moment of total silence punctuated by his fall, then the Jewish army hollers and thunders across the valley after the Philistines.

David wipes his forehead and grins. “Trust a Philistine to bring a spear to a sling fight.”