Careless Virginity

Well we were tangled together and desperate for each other and so needy that it made us clumsy. You know? Too rushed and too hard, too apologetic and too eager. We were drunk and maybe a little high, sotted on the sheer physical release of finally having things out in the open after months of dancing around each other until our feet bled. We couldn’t escape it and I don’t know why we wanted to but somehow that’s how it always works out. You fight against it and you fight against it and in the end you end up right where you didn’t want to be and it’s fine. Of course.

Anyway. That first time we laughed and bit and clawed at each other and took hours and laughed some more and rolled apart to finish off and laughed and mocked each other, too used to ourselves to know how to be with another person. She caught her breath and pushed her shoulders down and her stomach out and I rocked forward over myself again and again and we crashed together again, laughing and breathless and a little embarrassed. As things go there are worse torments but less pleasant ones.