One of his favorite tricks is to lie face down in a river and let it carry him downstream and see how long it takes someone to row out and poke at him. At which point he thrashes up out of the water bellowing and scares the bejesus out of whoever it is. It’s silly and juvenile but it’s not like he can afford to stop anywhere long enough to set up something more complicated. Plus it gives him a chance to rest his feet, which is nice.

One time he floated like that for four days before anyone noticed him. A sour-jawed pike came swimming up beneath him and he made a face through the green water to let it know he was still alive. He dozed off during the third day and it came back and took a chunk out of his nose. It made the payoff that much better, of course, but he snored horribly for the next twelve years until his nose grew back, bad enough that he’d wake himself up and have to start moving again.

There was a while when he’d taken everything so seriously and went around footsore and down at the mouth but these days he just has fun with it.

Render unto Caesar: the Longinus side