with manifold apologies to Bronwyn

A bolt of lightning fused all her fillings together. She was on a liquid diet anyway, so the lockjaw didn’t bother her much. She threw some extra gluten and protein fibers into her daily shakes and that was about that. All her hair fell out, and grew in white before darkening at the roots, but she didn’t mind that, either. A number of people complimented her on the sleek, aerodynamic curves of her skull, and fingers were always running over the stubble as her hair grew back. She counted it a learning experience. Her right arm developed a tic, knocking against her thigh when she was thinking or stressed out, but that ended up being for the best, since it worked out some of her anger issues and highlighted areas that were problematic.

It was the radio signals that drove her crazy. Her intrauterine device started picking music out of the air. The fillings made a perfect amplifier, sending constant noise directly into the bones of her ear. The slightest turn of her head or twitch of her hips sent drive-time humor shooting through her brain. After a year and a half of constant morning dj banter she snapped!