the following is written with next to no knowledge of basketball … or politics!

The Republican presidential field is playing basketball with the head of Ronald Reagan against the ghosts of campaigns past. Romney’s got the head and he’s heading upcourt but he keeps getting blocked by McGovern.

“I’m open!” Santorum yells.

Romney feints left and does a sweet behind the back pass to Bachmann. “This is hardly dignified,” Reagan’s head complains as he goes sailing through the air. Bachmann goes for the shot but Dukakis is there!

“I’m wide open here!” yells Santorum.

Perry snags the rebound and tries for a layup but he rims it. Stevenson is there and passes to Nixon and they drive back down.

“Way to choke, Perry,” calls Pawlenty, heckling from the bench.

Cain can’t keep his hands off Nixon and gets dinged for fouling. Nixon sinks the free throws, obviously, and Gingrich leads off. Carter and Ford are on him like flies on honey.

“Seriously, guys, I’m totally open!” Santorum is on the verge of tears. “Pass it my way! I could totally do this!”