The Trial of Mister Boots

Mister Boots was on trial — for his life!

“Mister Boots it is admitted that you entered Frank Waldgrave’s house for the avowed purpose of ending his life how do you plead?”

Mister Boots was silent!

“Mister Boots it is further admitted that you were committed to the care of Goody Jenkins for the sole purpose of enticing her to devilry and mischief how do you plead?”

The very rocks were more voluble than Mister Boots!

“Surely Mister Boots you will not deny that during your infancy the aforesaid Goody Jenkins did feed you on nettle soup and milk and her own blood — your response, Mister Boots!”

Silent was Mister Boots, as silent as the proverbial tomb!

“Lastly Mister Boots it is a matter of record that even while in the midst of the most devilish business you were cute and adorable what is your response?”

Mister Boots stretched his mouth in a wide pink yawn. “Mew?” he said.

“He lies, the brute,” shrieked Goody Jenkins from the gallery, “oh, how he lies!”

And Mister Boots is pleased!