Site icon Alexander Hammil

Only Simulated Fun

The user’s a cruel one, and looking to make a graveyard.
“Nice house,” says Dermott.
“Thank you,” says Scarey Spice.
“Trifle small though.”
“Well, we just moved in. Give us time. We haven’t got the furniture yet, but we will.”
“Congratulations, Spices,” says Dermott 2. “Your first house!”
“Thank you!” says Baby Spice. “I’m so excited! Airplace money symbol heart heart heart!”
Dermott 3 pulls on Sporty Spice’s arm. “Bathroom?”
Sporty Spice looks embarrassed. “Oh. There, uh, isn’t one yet, I’m afraid. We haven’t had the plumbing installed yet. Just go in the bushes outside.”
Dermott 3 is a little offended, but not nearly so much as he will be when he realizes there aren’t any doors anymore.
“There’s no way out!” he screams.
Everyone panics and claws at the unpainted drywall until their fingernails break off.
The lights keep shining and the air is starting to smell pretty bad.
“Bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom,” whines Dermott 3, then pisses himself.
The other Dermotts and the Spices turn their backs on his shame, but all their faces are worried.
Posh Spice clutches at her stomach discreetly.
That’s when the DJ appears.
“DANCE PARTY!” he yells.

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