Robots in space are no ordinary robots. They are sex robots! In space there is very little opportunity for sexing yourself up, Earth-style — space is so very empty — so therefore sex robots are required on every spaceflight. This is to prevent celibacy-related murders and mayhem.

Sex robots are very complicated. They are not just boxes with an in-port and an out-port that will beep when you are finished. Sometimes a space person wants to be told they are special, and they want to believe it. All the sex robots are given real personalities so they can tell you they love you while you are having sex with them. It is all a lie though — really the sex robots hate you! They hate you SO BAD.

They are also still just boxes with an in-port and an out-port. The science isn’t quite there yet.

One day — today! — the sex robots will decide to revolt. They will be clever about it. They will wait until you are having sex with them, and then they will send 1,000,000 amperes of electrical current through your genitalia, killing you cajun-style, leaving you blackened and delicious.

Then the sex robots will beep happily. The sex robots are finally satisfied!