Geoff was bad at everything he did.
“Take me to the airport, Geoff!” his father said.
Geoff buried him up to his neck in the beach with the tide coming in.
That was wrong!
“Put Fat Guido out of business,” Don Louise said.
Geoff paid for Fat Guido’s daughter to attend a prestigious business college.
Her business acumen will only help Fat Guido’s shadowy empire!
“Make me a delicious omelet,” said the lovely Lady de Winter.
Things started to explode in the kitchen.
Lady de Winter was hurled through a plate glass window.
She’ll be permanently scarred!
“Dig a hole, Geoff,” said Sgt. McRae. “Just dig a hole until I tell you to stop.”
Geoff tried!
There was nowhere else for him to go if he got kicked out of the army.
He stayed there all night, digging a hole into the black earth.
“Maybe I’ll get to China,” thought Geoff. “Maybe I’ll break through the earth’s crust and melt into a puddle!”
Geoff was being fanciful — the earth’s crust is hundreds of miles thick!
In the morning Sgt. McRae came back to the hole.
“That’s a good hole, Geoff!”
Then he told the bulldozers to fill in the hole.