Site icon Alexander Hammil

Telekinesis!

Adolphus discovered that he had the ability to effect the world with his mind. He had… TELEKINESIS!

He looked at his alarm clock. TELEKINESIS! Now he could sleep as late as he wanted.

He looked at his bed. TELEKINESIS! Now his bed was made!

He took a shower, and dropped the soap. TELEKINESIS! Now he didn’t have to worry about going to prison anymore!

He felt a newfound sense of entitlement.

Adolphus went for a walk. One of his neighbours, a big girl named Aliza, laughed at his clothes. TELEKINESIS! Laughter hurts, and so does a nest of bees. “Ha ha ha!” laughed Adolphus.

He walked into town. He wanted a piece of candy, but he had no money. “Sorry, sonny,” said nice Mr. Autolycus, the candyman. “No money, no candy.”

He went into a bank. TELEKINESIS! Now he had lots of money. “Gee, sonny,” said Mr. Autolycus. “That’s a lot of money!”

“I want a lot of candy,” said Adolphus.

He left the store sucking on a gobstopper as big as his head. The cops were waiting for him. TELEKINESIS! Now they didn’t have any guns. The cops looked angry. TELEKINESIS!

“Bang bang bang,” said the guns.

No cops!

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