Zeus, being in the way of things tired, falls asleep high atop stately Mount Dindymus!

There he dreams of thighs and eyes and lubricious rubbing, of breasts and buttocks and barebacked bullriding. Mighty Zeus dreams of being held tenderly by a vast goddess with thirty-six breasts! (Strange indeed are the ways of gods.) Thunderking he dreams of swans twined about the unmarked column of a retired maiden neck, of the winedeep and secretive eyes of gentle, soporific cupbearers, of ox-eyed wives, of the brave and beautiful, the loud, the hidden, the proud, the swift and clever. Sex dreams of the all powerful skygod!

All frothed and sticky is Mount Dindymus when Papa Zeus he wakes. Great is his shame, and low hangs his head as he steals away. Great thunderrattler! Thrower of lightning! In a stream he washes the seafoam from his thighs. Clean and nude and covered in glory he goes his way. No shame now for god to walk beneath the all-seeing sun!

Meanwhile!

High atop stately Mount Dindymus the frothy mixture of sanctified semen and fertile hellenic soil begins to bubble and churn. Something is emerging from the ground! An arm! A head, its mouth open in a great and wordless cry! Up through the mud it claws its way, and lurches and spins there in the light. It is the demon zombie goddess Agdistis, and it has male and female organs! Horror of horrors! The pansexual appetites of the curly-bearded Father of Heaven has brought forth an insatiable, mad fricatrice, bent upon world domination and/or submission!

Meanwhile!

Far away in Asia Minor, a boy child is born. “And he shall be called Attis,” says the headman.

To Be Continued!!